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Ruben Gonzalez the Luge Man |
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Three Time Olympian Peak-Performance Expert Motivational Speaker |
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Read Ruben’s Book The Courage to Succeed (click here)
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Winning Every Day - Dec. 2002 Message of the Month Who you surround yourself with will determine how far you go. After I decided to take up the sport of luge and train for the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics decision making became pretty simple for me. I knew that every action I took in the next four years was either going to get me closer to my goal or pull me away from my goal. Everything I did would make a difference. Even the people I associated with... You see, there are two kinds of people in the world. They are either on your team or they are not in your team. They are either on your dream team or they are not. People will either encourage you or cast doubt. If they doubt you can do it, they could steal your dream away! Associating with negative people makes us think negatively. Close contact with petty individuals develops petty habits in us. On the other hand, companionship with people with big ideas raises the level of our thinking; close contact with ambitious people helps make us more ambitious. I came to the realization that if someone laughed at my dream; they were laughing at me. If they did not believe in me, I stopped associating with them. I had to. They had the power to make me doubt myself and ultimately quit. I was taking up the luge at the age of 21 - way too old! And I was trying to qualify for the Olympics just four years away! I could not leave anything to chance. I did not have time to waste. I needed to know right away who was for me and who was not. How did I do it? I told everyone I spoke with about my dream. If they laughed at me, rolled their eyes, or in any way showed lack of belief, I stopped associating with them. I could not afford to. They were a dream stealer. However, if they got excited about my dream, I held on to them like they were made out of Gold! I’d just found myself a cheerleader. By doing this all the time, before long I could have filled a cheering section with my supporters. An unexpected benefit of doing this was that I created a positive pressure that kept me from quitting when the going got tough. You see, no matter how rough a day I was having at the track, it was going to be easier to get back on the sled than to come back home and tell everyone that I had quit. Birds of a feather flock together. Make sure you’re in the right flock. It’s your choice. Book of the Month This month's book is a classic. It was written in 1959. I've read it many times and every time I read it I learn something new. This book taught me that it is essential to set my goals high in order to live a great life. Millions of people throughout the world have improved their lives by using the principles in "The Magic of Thinking Big" by Dr. David Schwartz. Notice I did not say you will improve your life by reading the book... you can only improve yourself by applying what you learn. "The Magic of Thinking Big" gives you workable methods, not empty promises. Dr. Schwartz presents a planned program for living life big - in one's job, marriage and family life. He proves that you don't need to have a great intellect or great talent to be a giant among men; but you do need the habit of thinking and acting in a manner which brings success. The chapter titles will give you an idea of the content... Believe You Can Succeed and You Will Cure Yourself of Excusitis, the Failure Disease Build Confidence and destroy Fear How to Think and Dream Creatively Make Your Attitudes Your Allies Get into the Action Habit How to Turn Defeat into Victory How to Think Like a Leader You can find "The Magic of Thinking Big" in most used book stores. Do yourself a favor and read this classic! Thoughts to Ponder In 1999, according to IRS, families earning at the top 50% of taxable income paid 96% of all income taxes while the bottom 50% paid 4%. While a bright future beckoned, they freely gave their lives and fondest hopes for us and our allies, that we might learn from them courage in peace to spend our lives making a better world for others. -Inscription on Memorial Church above the names of Harvard men who died in the First World War Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss things, Small minds discuss people. "I will listen to anyone's convictions, but please keep your doubts to yourself." -Goethe Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does much about it. -Mark Twain On the Lighter Side Anyone can be tenacious if he'll just hang in there long enough. "Can you tell me where I can find the book 'Man, the Superior Sex'?" the man asked the saleswoman. "Sure, it's upstairs in the Science Fiction department," she replied. An optimist is someone who believes that a housefly is looking for a way out. I don't mind that my son is earning more than I did on my first job. What bugs me is he's just six, and it's his allowance! Some of us learn from other people's mistakes and the rest of us have to be the other people. My doctor gave me six months to live. when I told him I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six more months. -Walter Matthau Family Matters In the next few issues, I will share with you some basic principles of parenting that come from McDowell and Day's "How to be a Hero to your Kids". Last month you got an overview. This month, you'll learn about acceptance. Then, in each of the next five issues, you will get details on one of the other ingredients of effective parenting. Appreciation Affection Availability Accountability Authority Acceptance: Builder of Security and Self-worth Do you love your kids because of what they do or because of who they are? Unconditional acceptance is based on who your child is, not on what they do. Children parented with unconditional acceptance stand a much better chance of feeling good self-worth. They are much more likely to feel secure in their relationship with their parents. They usually respond well to loving authority. On the other hand, conditional acceptance focuses on what the child does. If the child obeys, achieves, or performs well, he is accepted. But if his performance is not up to parental standards, he feels insecure, rejected, with a lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Acceptance says, "You're somebody special." Whenever our two-year-old daughter Gabriela misbehaves, Cheryl and I reprimand her, correct her, sometimes send her to her room, but we also tell her that we love her whether she obeys or not. Gabriela is learning that actions have consequences but she is also knows that we love her no matter what. All of us are unique. We all have a different blend of gifts and qualities and each of us is here on Earth for a specific reason. So we reinforce Gabriela's uniqueness and let her know that we love her for who she is. Unaccepted children live in fear. They are afraid of being themselves. How can you function, how can you go after your dream in life if you are afraid of being yourself. It's being yourself with passion that will help you live a great life. That's why acceptance must come first in building your relationship with your children. The more that you can communicate unconditional acceptance to your children, the more prone they will be to be open, to share and tell you what's happening in their lives. Quotes of the Month "The better I get, the more I realize how much better I can get." -Martina Navratilova "The trouble with the rat race is that when you get to the top of the pack, you are still a rat." -Lily Tomlin "I never think of my audiences as customers. I think of them as partners." -Jimmy Stewart "A gambler is someone who plays slot machines. I prefer to own slot machines." -Donald Trump Christmas
Everywhere
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