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Winning
Every Day - Feb 2003
Message
of the Month
“The whole secret to a successful life is to find out what it is your
destiny to do, and then do it.”
Henry Ford
I’m going to share a sad fact with you. When I speak at an Elementary School
and ask my audience, “Do you have dreams?” almost every hand goes up. When
I ask the same question at a Middle School, only half of the hand’s go up.
When I ask High School and College students if they have dreams, only a few
hands go up. And when I speak to adult audiences, I’m surprised if anybody
raises their hand.
Benjamin Franklin said, “Most men die at age 25 but are not buried until
they are 70.” What he meant was, most people give up on their dreams before
they are 30 years old, and spend the rest of their lives in “survival
mode”, living day to day, just trying to get through the day rather than
living a life filled with passion, in the pursuit of their dreams.
Life is tough. There’s no doubt about it. And unless you are crystal-clear
about where you want to go, crystal-clear about your life purpose, mission,
calling, or destiny, and unless you believe it is possible for you to make
your dream a reality, you will not act on it and you will revert to
“survival mode”. Believe me, “survival mode” is not a good place to
be.
I know. I’ve been there. Ever since the third grade, I dreamed of being an
Olympic athlete. But I didn’t believe in myself so I never committed to
acting on my dream. Eventually I put my Olympic dream up on the shelf. For
years, I felt lost. I felt like a nobody. I felt I was not making a
difference. I did not like myself. Many years later, while in College,
something happened that inspired me to go for it. When I saw tiny Scott
Hamilton win the Gold Medal at the 1984 Sarajevo Olympics, I said to myself,
“If that little guy can do it, I can do it too! I WILL be in the next
Olympics!” And I made a commitment to do whatever it took to make my dream a
reality. All of a sudden, my life had purpose, meaning, and passion! Four
years later I was marching in the Opening Ceremonies of the 1988 Calgary
Winter Olympics.
I believe God puts a dream in our heart, he gives us all the gifts, talents,
and resources we need to make our dreams a reality. But it’s up to us to
believe in ourselves and it is up to us to do the work. Many times, you will
not discover your true gifts until you put yourself through the struggle of
chasing your dream. The person you become through the struggle is your gift
back to God.
You were created to make your dream come true. It is your life purpose. It is
you calling. Your mission. Your dream will draw on your talents, it will
appeal to your highest ideals, and will give you unlimited energy. Having a
vision of where you want to be satisfies several universal drives within each
of us. Having a dream connects with the spirit that dwells in our heart; it
gives us an outlet for our unique gifts and talents, and makes us feel that
our lives matter. It makes us feel that we are making a difference.
A dream does several things. It gives you a future focus. Instead of being
worried about the frustrations of the present, a dream gets you thinking about
the possibilities of the future. A dream gives you energy. Have you ever been
so engrossed in a book or in a project that hours seemed like minutes?
That’s what it feels like when you are passionately chasing your dream.
Finally, a dream keeps you from wasting your life. Dreams keep you from
wasting your talents, your abilities, and your creativity. They keep you from
living a life filled with regret. That terrible “What might have been?”
feeling.
You will experience success in life to the extent that you are clear about and
commit to achieving your life purpose
How do you find your purpose?
Book
of the Month
About a year and a half ago, I was in Park City, Utah, training for the Salt
Lake City Games. I was there for two weeks to learn the soon to be Olympic
Track. At the time, I was training alongside athletes from Brazil, Venezuela,
Virgin Islands, Bermuda, India, Slovenia, Liechtenstein, and England. Athletes
from all over the world drawn to Salt Lake to with a common purpose - to do
whatever it takes to make their Olympic Dreams a reality.
We train together, eat together, travel together, and really get to know each
other and what drives us to do what we do.
While in Park City, Laura James of the English luge team told me about a book
that according to her, spoke in a way she could not express, about how she
felt about dedicating your life to the pursuit of your heart's desire.
I read this gem of a book in about two days, and felt the same way. I actually
copied key lines from the book and carried them with me for the rest of the
season. In a season plagued with injuries, which are always very discouraging
to an athlete, re-reading parts of this book helped to strengthen my resolve.
Now I want to share this book with you. This month's book of the month is
"The Alchemist" , A fable about following your dream, by Paulo
Coelho.
With millions of copies sold throughout the world, "The Alchemist"
has established itself as a modern classic, universally admired. Paulo
Coelho's charming fable is the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian
shepherd boy who travels in search of worldly treasure. From his home in Spain
he journeys to the markets in Tanjiers and across the Egyptian desert to a
fateful encounter with the alchemist.
The story of the treasures he finds along the way teaches us, as only a few
stories have done, about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts,
learning to read the omens strewn along life's path, and above all, following
our dreams.
Thought
to Ponder
"Single-mindedness. I hate to say it because I don't think it's the best
thing for developing a person, but the single-mindedness - just concentrating
in that one area - that's what it takes to be a champion."
Chris Evert
"The people we admire in our lives are ordinary people that have been
able to accomplish extraordinary things. The things that make them
extraordinary are things we all possess."
Rolf Benirschke - NFL Placekicker
On
the Lighter Side
"The NFL is like a chess match, where they're trying to tear your arms
off."
Bernie Kosar - NFL Quaterback
"There'll be two buses leaving the hotel for the ballpark tomorrow. The 2
PM bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus
will leave at 5 PM."
Dave Bristol - Baseball Manager
"It's amazing how many people beat you at golf once you're no longer
president."
George Bush Sr.
Family
Matters
In
this issue, I will continue to share with you some basic principles of
parenting that come from McDowell and Day's "How to be a Hero to your
Kids". Last month's principle was appreciation. This month, you'll learn
about affection. In each of the next four issues, you will get details on one
of the other ingredients of effective parenting.
Availability
Accountability
Authority
To a child, parental affection is like water to a plant, oil to an engine,
food to the starving. With no affection an infant can literally die. Without
adequate affection, a child can grow into a teenager who is willing to trade
sex for feeling loved.
Affection (either through hugs or through being told you are loved) meets a
basic physical and psychological need that doesn't really change that much as
children grow older.
Parents tend to hug and kiss children when they are younger, but the hugging
and kissing becomes less frequent as they grow older. By the time children hit
junior high and high school, many parents practically stop hugging and kissing
them altogether. One reason for this is that teen-agers brush their parents
away, saying that they are "grown up now and don't need it." Don't
believe them! They do need affection, and if they don't get it, they will
fulfill their need in the wrong way.
Almost every single high school student has two fears. One is the fear that
they will never be loved, and the other is the fear that they will never be
able to love. These two fears drive them into trading sex for intimacy.
According to researcher Jocn Wodward, who has studied lonely people for twenty
years, high school girls are the loneliest people in the United States.
If high school girls are the loneliest people in our country, it's no wonder
that a key reason teen-agers give for engaging in pre-marital sex is that they
are "searching for their father's love."
When parents are consistently warm and affectionate toward their children, the
children feel accepted and appreciated. And when you have felt that affection
as a young child, you are less likely to sell out everything as a teen-ager
because you want somebody to "love you."
Be sure to give your children huge daily doses of affection. their very
destiny, their very ability to some day function as effective and fulfilled
wives, husbands, and parents depends on it.
You can't hug your kids enough, you really can't. And it doesn't really matter
how old or what size they are. No one ever outgrows the need for affection.
There is awesome power in a simple thing like a hug, a wink, and lips just
forming the words "Hey, I love you!"
Quotes
of the Month
"I do not try to be better than anyone else, I only try to be better than
myself"
Dan Jansen - Olympic Speed Skater
"You celebrate the victory, but you analyze the defeat"
Bill Walton
"Leadership is not really about leading; it's about having guys follow
you. They make the choice."
Steve Young - 49ers Quarterback
"There are no limitations if you broaden your horizons. If you don't
succeed you haven't failed, because you cannot fail if you've tried your
hardest."
Carl Lewis
"If what you want does not happen for you right away, stay at it. Become
good at it. You'll be surprised at how your confidence will build as you
develop self-discipline."
Terry Bradshaw - Steelers Quarterback
Food
for Thought
No matter who you are, sometimes you just have to slow down and relax.
Mike Firenza, of St. Lukes Methodist Church in Houston sent me this insightful
piece.
Lettie Cowman, in her book, "Springs in the Valley", tells the story
of a traveler who made a long and treacherous journey through the deep jungles
of Africa. Coolies had been engaged from a local tribe to carry the loads he
required for the journey. The first day they marched rapidly and went far. The
traveler had high hopes of a speedy journey. But the second morning these
jungle tribesmen refused to move. They just sat and rested all day. On inquiry
as to the reason for their behavior, the traveler was told that they had gone
too fast the first day, and that they were now waiting for their souls to
catch up with their bodies.
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