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Winning
Every Day - May 2003
No
Guts No Glory
You know in your heart what you'd like to accomplish. You're always thinking
about it. It bugs you all the time. Just the thought of doing it makes your
skin tingle.
The thought of finally making that dream a reality makes you feel alive,
excited, pumped up with a terrific feeling of anticipation.
But something is holding you back. What if you go for it and you fail? How
could you live with yourself? What would others think?
Fear of failure holds most people back from going after their dreams. Every
day you hesitate, the fear grows stronger.
The fear is just a smokescreen! I double dog dare you to act in spite of your
fears. You'll be so glad you did. Regardless of the results, you will feel so
proud of yourself! And even if you do fail (which really means you keep trying
until you figure it out), others will look up to you for having the guts to
act with courage.
Go for it! Just going for it will put you in the top 5% of the population.
Why? Because 95% of the people out there are afraid to go for it.
The one quality that separates the most successful people from the least is
initiative. Initiative means taking responsibility and taking action when you
see something needs to be done. It means moving quickly and decisively.
Initiative means taking risks, regularly moving out of the comfort zone, doing
things the average person is not willing to do. You can do it. You have it in
you. You really do. I know. Because I'm an average person that accomplished
great things because I constantly DIVE HEADFIRST out of my comfort zone.
Believe me, when you do, the world will CONSPIRE to help your dreams become a
reality.
Thought
to Ponder
"Until you are committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
ineffectiveness. It is true: the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
Providence moves. All sorts of things begin to happen to help you that would
never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from that
decision, raising in your favor all manner of unforseen incidents, meetings
and material assistance, which you couldn't have dreamt would come your way.
I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets, which bears
repeating:
"Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute. What you can do, or dream
you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."
- W.H. Murray, Scottish Mountaineer
Family
Matters
In this issue, I will continue to share with you some basic principles of
parenting that come from McDowell and Day's "How to be a Hero to your
Kids". Last month's principle was accountability. This month, you'll
learn about authority.
There are four parenting styles:
Autocratic - My way or the highway!
Permissive - Do anything you want!
Neglectful - I really don't care what you do...
Relational - "I'm listening... I care about you... I want to
understand... This time we'll do it my way because...
The four styles result from different amounts of love and limits. The
autocratic parent shows strong control but no support. They are like General
Patton. Kids respond in two ways: fight or flight. The other extreme is an
overly permissive parent. They are extremely supportive but out of control.
The tail wags the dog in those homes. Permissively-parented kids hold their
parents hostage. These kids get their way, but they are not any happier than
children of autocratic parents, because, again, there is no balance of love
and limits from the parents.
People that were raised by permissive parents often become indifferent
parents. They tend to be self indulgent, because they were spoiled as kids.
They don't display much love or limits to their children and as a result,
their kids feel like non-entities.
The most balanced parenting style is the relational style. It Balances love
and limits. There are definite and immediate consequences for actions. It's
the James Dobson approach of love and discipline. The children feel love and
feel controlled, which adds to their security.
Rules without relationship lead to rebellion. That is why building a strong
relationship is crucial. The proper balance comes from generous doses of
acceptance, appreciation, accountability, and authority.
Not surprisingly, these ideas have been around for a long time. The Book of
Ephesians in the Bible has some great passages for further reading.
Acceptance - Ephesians 1:1-3:21
Appreciation - Ephesians 4:1-5:20
Accountability - Ephesians 5:21-6:9
Authority - Ephesians 6:10-6:20
Quotes
of the Month
"Successful leaders have the courage to take action while others
hesitate."
-John Maxwell
"Talkers are no good doers."
-William Shakespeare
"The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look
at the men he has around him."
-Niccolo Machiavelli
Book
of the Month
“The Power of Passion” by lan Hobson and Jamie Clarke is this month’s
featured book.
Everest adventurers Hobson and Clarke believe life's "Everyday
Everests" are harder to surmount than Mount Everest itself because they
are longer-term. No one takes our picture or congratulates us when we get to
the summit because there is no summit. The everyday mountains we climb keep
getting higher and harder.
In this book, Alan and Jamie share the true story of their struggle to climb
Everest. It is far more than a mountaineering tale, it's a real life story - a
story of hopes and dreams, of tragedy and tenacity to which everyone can
relate. Mostly, it's a story about triumph - a triumph of the human spirit. It
will help you climb your own Everests - whatever mountains you are climbing in
your own life.
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